BADASS LADIES

Coz that is being a lady too. And a sexy one as well. Love it.

GIRL CRUSH #1

AzMarie............

NOT BEING A LADY DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE NOT A WOMEN

ELLEN PAGE'S LESSON OF LOVE

The most inspiring Valentine's Day speech I've ever heard. Universal love through self love.

NAUGHTY SEXY SYRIA

We all hear about Syria these days, but for the saddest of reasons: war.
But i recently discovered something not only very surprising (to me at least!), but also quite fantastic:

Syria is the Middle East's Kinky-Lingerie Capital!

Yes, you read this right!
And by "kinky" i mean really freaking funny and "creative" kinky.

Here is a great video on the subject, created by Time Mag. It's also interesting to see how, just like the porn industry is in our society is ruled by men, the kinky-lingerie business over there seems ruled by guys as well... and how some feminists, like the smart radio host we see in the video, speaks out against this modern way of limiting women's right on their own sexuality...

I've also put a few pictures from the book "The Secret life of Syrian Lingerie"

Design-wise, it is quite hilarious.

WHY DO GIRLS ALWAYS END UP REJECTING YOU?

Are you one of thoses amazing catches that SOMEHOW never really get the girls? Or you do but not for long...? I am not being ironic at all. I know a few of you guys as i am one of the girls you couldn't quite get. Yes, you are good looking, for a few are actually seriously goregous. You are nice, you have your shit together and are educated. But somehow..... Some of these other, not so cool, not so hot, not so smart guys are getting more action or play than you.

I have two possible answers: either you are an annoying type of nice guy OR: you don't smell good.

I have rejected amazing guys JUST because they smelled bad. Yes, it is THAT important. Just like a man that smells good can really have a bigger power on us than we would like to admit, the opposite is über powerful.

Solutions:

Shower everyday ( obviously) or more ( if you sweat a lot) and wear deodorant. 

Hydrate after your shower as a good lotion not only makes your skin smoothes ( noboby likes cracky skin) but it leaves a nice subtle smell all over you. 

REMEMBER: smelling good means smelling good from up-very-close and UNDER your perfume.

Clean your house. I mean: ckean your damn house. Smelly envoronments leave on you a bad smell. 

Air out your appartment EVERYDAY. Even if you shower every day, if you live in a stuffy appartment, you will smell. Because yes: stuffiness has a distinct smell.

Don't forget your landry in the washing machine. It gives a weird rotten smell to your clothes that are ON your body. It's gross.

Wear perfume. But not just ANY perfume. Find something that will fit you. Go to a store and find a specialist that will test a bunch of them on you. You will be surprised how different a perfume can smell on your skin. And please: don't wear TOO MUCH. That's just plain ridiculous. Two zitzs are waaaaay enough with any brand.

And of course: mouth hygene is a MUST. ( brush, floss everyday) and always have gum or mints on you. 

There. Now you know. 

A REAL MAN

THE FIGHT FOR LOVE.

Those who are fighting in Russia and in other parts of the world to love who they want to, I thought I'd post these photos I found. They may have had to be silent, but these photos speak volumes of the real connection two people can have despite the laws.

All I can say is I hope for a day when people don't have to hide their love of someone for anyone. Love IS rebellion.

MY VAGINA IS CURRENTLY NOT ACCEPTING APPLICANTS

I haven't been able to write on this blog for about a year now.

During that time I still read the posts religiously and consistently wished I could share my own two cents but every time I tried to write something it came out insincere because I refused to admit that at this point in my life I am afraid of sex.

This is a particularly hard pill for me to swallow because I was quite sexually liberated in the past and truly enjoyed all types of sexual encounters. I loved talking about sex, fantasizing about sex, indulging in sex, all of it. But something happened in the past year that I can't really explain. I didn't get raped, I wasn't physical abused, there was no particular moment I can point to that brought me to this point but I can't enjoy sex anymore. Not only can I not enjoy sex but the moment anything tries to enter me I either burst into tears or my vagina completely clamps up. Even masterbating is a struggle. I should specify that these are empty tears, it's not like I'm getting over someone and that sex reminds me of him or that I'm sad when this reaction happens, it's literally just my body's reaction to sex for the past year: tears and clammed shut vagina.

What's the most interesting part of this recent dilemma is that in every other part of my life I feel amazing. I have a great job, a beautiful family, successful side projects, honestly I feel on top of my game so what is causing all this emotional outpour and why is it mainly linked to my vagina?

Naturally I've talked to a lot of friends about my situation and even a few professionals and so far it all seems to be pointing to the fact that I've never had boyfriend sex. Well I've never had a boyfriend so that would explain that but this isn't about the whole emotional connection or support you feel with a partner. It's about the sexual respect that apparently you now only deserve if you are a man's girlfriend. When I started my sexual exploration about 10 years ago, it wasn't like this. I guess porn wasn't as popular and degrading back then so the men I was with would actually take the time to get to my know my body and please me but for the past 2-3 years I've encountered an alarming amount of guys who 'only go down on their girlfriends', and think that foreplay and cuddling are 'too serious' or think that the only way for them to reach orgasm is to pummel the girl's vagina. After countless nights of bad sex and belittling experiences I think my vagina has just thrown in the towel and refuses to be touched.

It's really sad that most of the men around me believe that good sex and mutual respect is only reserved for their 'wifey', which coincidentally they never seem to have. I'm a very respectable woman, I'm enjoyable to be around and I used to love getting to know a select few of the men around me on a sexual level without feeling like a blow up doll in a porn flick. Every time I want to get intimate my vagina reminds me of the times I was called a bitch in bed, chocked, had a guy just stuff their dick in my mouth, all of which would be fine if I felt it was out of sexual intensity rather than contempt. Oh let's not even talk about the times guys have refused to go down me, called me by the wrong name, or wouldn't even offer me a glass of water the next morning.

I know, you must be thinking 'where in the world is she finding theses guys?'. Well I'm sad to say these are regular guys. Guys I went to school with, ex-coworkers, and even guys I would've called friends. I wish I could say they were guys from a sleazy bar but no. So why don't I just try to get a boyfriend then? Because that's not the solution! I don't want a boyfriend right now and I should have the right to enjoy my singledom without it making me a lesser class citizen.

I don't how much longer my vagina is gonna be on strike but I fully understand her. Why should she open herself to such disdain. So yup right now I am afraid to have sex, I'm afraid it'll be awful like it's been, I'm afraid that even if it isn't awful my body will rejet it, and most importantly I'm afraid that the way men and women have sex in the next few years is just gonna keep on getting more sexist and degrading.

In the meantime I'm going to try to reacquaint myself with my vagina and build up her confidence again cause as I mentioned before even masterbating has been tough recently and maybe I can share those experiences with you guys since my vagina is currently not accepting applicants.

I KNOW YOU MEAN WELL

Everytime i hear someone say" How are you still single!?" I know you mean well...but honestly, it just makes me feel like a sociopath.

IF GIRLS ON THE STREET SAID I LOOKED NICE, I'D BE HAPPY!

SEXIST SOCIETY....BUT THE OTHER WAY AROUND?

What if our society wasn't a male-dominent society ...but a female one? Same messed up sexists ways, but the other way around?
Take a look..... shiver and the think.
Truly amazing.

PAY FOR ME.

I decided to open myself to new men, hoping to get a better outcome than the ones i am used to and kinda want to move on from. So i started letting difference types of men talk to me, and worked on finding new types of features and styles attractive... slowly, but surely, i am opening myself to new and more things.
So in that let's try something new wave of mine, i have accepted to go on a date-non-date with a boy i met online. He is cute (in this new way i am trying to appreciate) and mostly, seemed polite and is a friend of my cousins. So not a complete stranger. Since i hate conventions, i also hate "dates". So he said "tea" i liked it as i saw it like "going for tea with a stranger in my favorite joint".
Went well, sweet, intelligent, funny, quite cute (working on it) and interesting.

Until he got all "canadian" on my ass. (I am european, culture-wise, but have been living in canada for almost 15years (i am canadian) but although i love canadians, there is one thing i can't deal with: men treat women as complete "equal" (in their head) and you will always see couple share their bills.....)
We both went to pay, he paid (it was 7$!?!) and without even letting me say thank you, added right freakin' away: "you'll get the next one"...... WTF.
First, if his goal was to be like "this is not a date" i still think that was lame and cheap as hell. Even friends pay for one another WITHOUT the condition of "you have to be next". (i am not saying men should pay everything all the time, but i believe it is a balanced thing to figure out in a couple's life, including, cooking, cleaning, kids, vacations, gifts... but in a restaurant or bar... "man"-up)

Secondly, classic courtesy and gallantry are beautiful things.
It makes women feel special as women, and then, a women (still in this unspoken gallantry-deal) will treat you and make you feel like the king of the world.
Life and relationships in general are best when you give without expecting, without calculating. This is my personal and deep opinion.

But if you really want to hear my opinion on this bullshit in the "money way" men seem to always bring back?
Fine I can do that too:
You are a man, you will pay for me. Especially if you want to get romantic or even just sleep with me. If you don't, it won't happen. Why? well because it is part of me seeing you as manly, hot, on top of his game, "i can take care of you", attractive. And NO, it has nothing to do with being a gold digger. It is the same as when men expect us, ladies, to look good, and feminine in an attractive way.

Do you know, my dear "we should be equal, so you should pay half and this "men have to pay" thing is obsolete" guy, how much money and time it takes a lady to look "like a lady should look"????

I remember a friend of mine, going through divorce, telling me about her husband never letting her finish getting ready in the morning, as they shared a car, as he kept saying she was slow and should not put makeup if it took so much time (obviously, he wasn't the one getting the kids ready for school in the am either)...but then told her she should really start taking better care of herself as she didn't look as good as when they first got married?

My men: i will pay half, the day you will have to go get your nails/legs/eyebrows/facial/hair/botox/makeup done, (and i'm not even going into the clothes and lingerie part...) in order to be called "properly put together" in our society.

Oh yes, and we will need to get paid as much as you for the same job of course.

Until then, on a "date": pay for me.

TO RUSSIA WITH HATE.

I MISS CUNNILINGUS

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

ON DYLAN AND WOODY

Twenty or so years ago, Dylan Farrow accused her adoptive father, Woody Allen, of repeated sexual abuse. She recently wrote this open letter, describing the alleged abuse, her parents' divorce, the treatment she received after she came forward, and urging Hollywood and the public to consider her and the abuse when they think of her father (who recently was nominated for another Academy Award).

Woody Allen has never been tried for sexual molestation and, as many will point out, deserves the presumption of innocence. True. But, as tends to happen on the internet, campaigns have been launched attacking Dylan. Why have people let the desire to presume Woody Allen innocent so cloud their minds that they ignore the presumptions Dylan deserves in this situation?

I have no answers for this one. I have not yet reconciled how I can appreciate Woody Allen's artistic contributions without supporting a man who has been accused of molesting his daughter. I have not yet decided whether I should appreciate Woody Allen's artistic contributions or if I should boycott his films. I have not yet decided whether these thoughts are premature and unnecessary. HOWEVER, I do have answers regarding how to treat a victim of alleged sexual assault: I will not ignore, attack, vilify, villainize, or blame Dylan or any other victim or alleged victim of sexual assault. I hope you'll join me and maybe we'll be one step closer towards ending rape culture.

Follow-up: Thank you, Lena Dunham for this gem. 

THE TROUBLE WITH NICE GUYS

Bad boys..... Nice guys.

Seems like the everlasting dillema men don't get about women. Even women themselves  sometimes won't understand their own behaviour.... And no, don't even TRY to call us hysterical or "crazy", these are just some ignorant mysogenic comments. 

Here is the way i see it: it's not reallyabout "good" vs "bad", it's more "all over you, obviously into you, nothing to conquer" attitude vs the " i like you, but it's not that obvious" behaviour. 

It's part of the beautiful and important system of seduction.

The sweet and spicy "game", the  dreamy "strategies" and the heart-pounding hopes.

When a man offers himself on a silver platter.... It kinda looses it's shines. Like an Hermes bag for 10$. 

I need to visualize you from a distance... be able to make myself desirable... work for it, even a tiny-little bit... Everything is so much more tasteful then.

When a man is all up in my space, banging on my door with a hundred roses and his suitcases, just waiting for me to say yes.... the consequences seem too big, the visualisation impossible... And it's almost worthless as sometimes, it's harder  to "believe" he really likes you, as it had seemed way too easy. 

My men, even if you love a girl... Take it slow, keep a charming distance, don't be obvioulsy only-and-always about her... when you do so, not only do you end up "chocking" her, but your personality seems to dissapear, only showing a reflecion of her... and women want a man, not a modeled ghost.

So yes, you then become the "nice" guy, in a bad way. 

It's not that we want bad boys,(I personally hate bad boys) but we like the "attitude" of the so-called "bad boys". The "i want to reach him" seductive distance.

But with the niceness and respect we all appreciate in other human beings we keep around us.  

See, not crazy.