Penis Etiquette

I don’t like uncircumcised penises. If you have a hood, please have the decency to always present yourself hard and uncovered while needing my attention. Thanks. 

Laughing too loud.

Are used to date this man that I was very fond of. We had a lot in common... the beautiful things; the dreams, the mutual admiration, the wanting the other to become the best of themselves, the will to learn from one another, the idea that we can change the world together. 

But there was a lot of things that were against us. And out of all of these, some of them really big, like religion, culture, cities… but they he truth is there was really one that was the dealbreaker for me: He thought I laughed too loud. 

All the other things, I could’ve overcame. Really. But that one, no. 

He now has a little girl and I really can’t help but wonder, is he going to teacher to not laugh too loud?

THE BEST HEAD IN THE WORLD

Recently, i went to see one of my lovers... really i just was in his city and so we continued our usual discoveries and gift-giving.
I have been "seeing" him for 5 years now, every time i go down in that warm city of his.
It should be noted that he is, to this day, my best sex ever. Which is why i continue seeing him, as he also happens to be a really shady guy, "work-wise".

Anyway, this guy is just pure talent and strength. Picking me up like i weigh 3 pounds and puts me in positions that make me feel things i didn't know i could feel that way... it's like he has somekind of 3D vision of his dick and my vagina and always knows how to angle it.
This last time, he managed to impress me yet again. He pulled some crazy areal kamasutra trick, i literally thought i was going to fall on my face(as i was completely oiled up). But no. Of course not, he is that aware.

I was coming out of my shower, putting oil on my body when he comes in, and gives me "that" look... like: girl, you are not going anywhere.
He grabs me, carries me out of the bathroom, brings me up above his head, and turns me like a reverse "dirty-dancing-flying pose" with his face between my legs.
Oh. My.
My mind is trying to catch up to this circus-gymnastic-trick he got me into, but really can't as my body is reacting so strongly to his perfect kissing, sucking and dabbing of my pussy.

Damn boy. You are so talented.

SEX PET PEEVES

We all have things we don’t like in bed... and things we just can’t stand. Some make sense to most women, some are more personal. Here are a few of my very personal ones.

- men that refer to my vagina as “her” or even go as far as trying to name her. NOPE. She is not another “female”, she is ME. 

- men that do corny-ass jokes thinking they are so witty when wanting to eat my pyssy. Like “i need to be fed” or “I’m hungry” wink-wink. *eyes rolling*

- men that don’t make any sound when they come. It just weirds me out and frankly i LOVE the sound and feeling of a man coming. I live it like a little victory. 

- men that don't trim their dicks and balls. No, just no.
- not caring about wether i came or not. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

Ya... i felt i needed to tell the world outside of my group of girlfriends.

To break up with a man that was never yours.

I miss his lips. I miss his skin. I miss his tongue. I miss his eyes. I miss his fingers in my hair. But non of it was real. 

From obsessed to grossed out

When being grossed out by one of your ex’ attempts to cuddle with you reminds you that you can get over any guy.

Isn’t it fascinating how we can, one day be all over one man, and after a disappointment or just time, really can’t stand the thought of his hands on you?

It’s amazing. 

I just went on an improvised road trip with this ex of mine. We have remained friends and so chilling together made sense. I just didn’t realize we were going to end up sharing a hotel room... and a hotel bed. 

That night, even though i had been REALLY clear, he of course tried to “naturally cuddle” while pretending to be asleep. 

RIIIIIGHT.

I elbowed him so bad it was pathetic to see him pretend it didn’t wake him up and flee to his side of the bed.

That’s the thing, i love to cuddle. And i used to be so into this man when we were seeing each other, back in the day. But if I’m not into you anymore, the idea of you even touching me grosses me out.

I’m currently trying to erase this man from my body... and this weekend reminded me that, with time, it is possible. 

THAT GLOW

Not all sex toys are created equal. I just learned that the Mmmhhmm-way.

So lately, i have had one of these weeks: the ones that everybody seems to stare at you, want to or just straight up talks to you, smiles at you.
As whenever these days happen, i wonder if it's my outfit...or my energy... or my hair... or my cycle. As we all know we are (supposed to be) more attractive during our ovulation. But I have had these days within my ovulation and out of it. So yes... and no.
In this case, i was in my cycle of ovulation, but only 2 days.... the rest of the week was not.
So i Sherlocked this mystery and started looking into what i had maybe done different....
And there it was: the BIG difference: my new sex-toy.

See i have been mourning my favorite vibrator...and not only is it dead.. it is also discontinued.
But i was not going to let this tragedy get the best of my sexual health, and so i went into a shop, and went through the whole new collections and trends with the sales-guy.
There are these new toys, that are neither dildos nor vibrators. They look a little funny and un-sexy, but their very awesome fonction is everything but a joke: they gently (or less gently lol) suck your clitoris. Like a sweet loving pair of talented lips.
I was a little unsure at first, and decided to try it out, but went for the cheapest (still expensive!) version of it.

And.... OH EM GEE.
I hadn't had such a strong orgasm with a toy EVER.
Not only that, but i realized i hadn't had one of these with a man in a while as well. I've come, yes. Good: yes. But that hard? Like "you have to contains screaming"-hard? Like "you are actually exhausted and need to take a short nap"-hard? Not in a while.
So i used my new best friend every day, fantasizing away.. of this man in my head licking me like he does so well... and i feel that gave me that "glow"... i mean... it just makes sense to me.
I guess we will truly never know.
But i know i am upgrading my toy soon. It is that magical.

CRESCENDO

THE FORGOTTEN POWER OF MAKE OUT SESSIONS

Slow... then intense... then deep.... then travel.

THE SADDEST VIEW IN THE WORLD.

There is no saddest sight in the world than a pile of used condoms wasted on a limp dick.

Staring at you from your night table like the echo of your disappointment ..

TRACES OF LUST

To find your lace thong from the night before.... laying proud and exhausted from a night of passion... wet from my cum... our sweat... his saliva...

What a beautiful sight.

THE IMPORTANCE OF TOUCHING YOURSELF TO ANOTHER MAN

So i have been trying to get this useless man out of my mind. But like a corny annoying badly written song, he is stuck in my head.

So i have decided to take this purging to the next level.

I have been in touch with an ex. A great ex. And thankfully for me, a way better in bed ex.

So this morning, to start my day right, i decided to touch myself to this ex. 

Wasn't easy at first as it wasn't fully organic but.... it worked. 

And my orgasm was amazing.

* Patting myself on the shoulder *

The lose lose situation

I fell for a man. Hard. Although this should be good as i haven't cared for a man in years, it is, to me, a catastrophy. 

This situation is the worst i could ever be in. 

Why? Well: he happens to be one of the best friends of the man who raped me years ago. And he doesn't know. Nobody knows. I live frightened in the thought i could bump into him. 

I am so afraid i have to let him go. Even though he is the only man i want right now. 

I see no solutions. I am trapped, yet again by this man i hate. Years later. Still trapped.

I MISS THAT FUCKBOY

Recently, i have been missing that un-interesting, immature fuckboy i had been sleeping with.

Because i miss the crazy, just violent enough sex we used to have all over my apartment.

That "fucking so wild" all of my furniture was literally completely displaced sex.

That "please let me suck you dick because it is so beautiful" sex.
That "damn you are so un-interesting but can you grab and take me from behind already" sex.

I miss his big sure hands, his big juicy lips, his alway so-hard dick...

That shut the fuck up and fuck me boy.